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Cannon Films Countdown – American Ninja 4 (1990) (Review)

Here are only a few reasons why this movie surpasses even Plan 9 as the worst movie ever made.

1. Every cliche in the book has been written in. Like the soldier coming to the retired American Ninja at his Peace Corps classroom to ask for his help in rescuing the other American Ninja where the retired ninja responds “I told you the last time, it was the last time.” BAM!

2. All the bad ninjas are COLORCODED! Don’t know which ninja is more skilled than the others? Well, they’re all wearing prime colors and you know which one is the boss because he’s got an eyepatch.

3. The American Ninja enlists the help of some kind of retro-80’s junkyard gang to take on the bad ninjas like something out of Mad Max.

4. Lastly we have scenes like the recently un-retired ninja fashioning a new sword. One scene he’s got what looks like a led pipe and an grinder and in the next he’s got a perfectly polished sword. The best scene however, is where the American Ninja, wearing a t-shirt and jeans is about to attack the bad ninja castle when he jumps into a convenient hole in the ground and immediately jumps back out in full black ninja gear. OH WAIT! I forgot about the scene when he catches a crossbow arrow in his teeth and stabs the guy next to him with it while it’s still in his mouth.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love this movie. Nothing like a good chuckle and no brain cells required. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who loves a good bathos.